Men Wearing Skinny Jeans and Other Bad Ideas

Outside of their faith and money I cannot think of a thing the Jonas brothers have that I believe men should strive for.  The Jonas Brothers are the first people I noticed with skinny jeans on, (I was babysitting my nephews and best I can tell they were contractually obligated to watch the Disney Channel regardless of what game their uncle wanted to watch.  Especially if there was a game their uncle wanted to watch).  Since I was not impressed by the music, or moved to tears like the 14-year-old girls they kept showing, I could only wonder “why in the hell are their pants so f*ckin’ tight”?  Later I found out that those were ‘skinny jeans’.

I consider myself a little knowledgeable when it comes to clothes and the only time I ever heard ‘skinny jeans’ discussed were for woman… and with mixed results.  I was a little surprised when within the year I saw Lil’ Wayne wearing skinny jeans (a reason for me to hate him).  Then I noticed not only were his jeans skinny but he managed to make them sag (another reason to hate him), but he had women screaming for him while wearing skinny jeans that were sagging (the real reason I hate him).  Hell cuzz was winning so hard, he actually made me wonder if I should buy a pair of skinny jeans, at that moment the grown man in me jumped out of my body and slapped the sh*t out of me!

Styles change, every generation needs something to identify themselves/make them different from their parents generation clothes and music are usually the two ways to do it.  We all have a picture we took in high school that people can use against us if they ever reach dire straights and need money.  That is the joy I get out of seeing kids in skinny jeans, not only will their be pictures but thanks to Facebook there will be a web history of bad decisions.  So teen boys enjoy your time in skinny jeans you will regret your choice one day, along with the one girl you met while drunk that night the chick you are crazy about stops taking your calls… but you have time to get there and at that same moment when you realize the real meaning of ‘settling’.

The biggest problem with skinny jeans is the .83 seconds out of my day when I believe I am checking out some chicks ass.  This happens often… in a day.  Pretty much we all lose when it comes to skinny jeans.  The guys in them have to deal with laughs and the assumptions of other men that they can kick this man’s ass.  The women with men wearing skinny jeans have to deal with laughs and the assumption that she can kick her man’s ass.  Then the men like me that have to deal, often, with that they have spent 5.81 seconds of their day appreciating the roundness of another man’s ass (0.83 seconds multiplied by 7… I told you often).


39 thoughts on “Men Wearing Skinny Jeans and Other Bad Ideas

  1. One thing guaranteed to pull me out of a slumpy mood is to take a look back at pictures, old pictures, back in the day pics. There I am, 20 years ago, thinking I looked so cool wearing that jacket with those huge shoulder pads, and what in the world was I thinking with the hair thing, the big hair thing? And we ALL thought we looked so hot! I’ll never forget, about 5 years ago in downtown Seattle, seeing a young man wearing those baggy pants that slumped, front-and-backside, halfway down to his thighs, tearing across the street through traffic and doing his best to dodge the moving, 2500+ pound things on wheels called vehicles, and he’s grasping his pants to keep them from falling completely off ~~ his boxers were entertaining, as well. I just kept thinking, “OMG, he is going to die of humiliation in twenty years, when he looks back at those pics”! Great post!

  2. Great post! I think skinny jeans look terrible on women, too. And sagging is really “anti fashion”, right? When today’s twentysomethings look back in forty years they’ll be asking themselves a LOT of “Why’d I do that”s … clothes, hair, piercings, tattoos, etc.

  3. Haven’t seen anything quite as funny as the day I watched a group of young men running across the road. Half were in skinny jeans and could barely move their legs more than a few inches apart and the other half were wearing jeans that sagged to their knees. One of the skinny jean guys tripped over the curb and had a hard time getting up and one of the saggy jean guys tripped when his jeans fell to his ankles. I almost wrecked my car I was laughing so hard.

    My own 14 year old used to wear skinny saggy jeans that I couldn’t stand. I ended up taking some pics of him with the camera phone (he wasn’t aware of me taking the pics) and printed them. Once he saw how funny/pathetic he looked he changed his style. Now, if I can just get him to stop the Justin Bieber hair….ugh

    (by the way – great blog)


  4. lol, dude! I happen to like skinny jeans and even have bought them for the men in my life. But I have to admit, you have to have a certain body to look good in them… and most men don’t. I enjoy this! Will keep on reading.

  5. I am not a fan of skinny jeans on most especially men, womem with muffin tops, children, and the older generation who should know better. Great post.

  6. back in the day, you walked into the store and picked levi or wrangler and walked out with your new pants. now with relaxed, stressed, boottop, stonewashed, and all them others, in all them different brands, don’t blame me if i end up with them skinny ones. i just hope they come all the way down to my boots and don’t squeeze my necessaries too bad.

  7. Oh, Love this post. Saggy pants and skinny jeans on guys is one of my favorite “hates”. They look ridiculous and they are not practical. Watching them run in saggy jeans can keep me entertained for a couple of hours. Thanks for reading The Grandma Chronicles and maybe you’ll like The Daily (C)rant ( too. Keep writing, I’ll follow.

  8. Are the Jonas Bros. not gone yet? And totally new take….something to have you really rocking back and forth over….skinny jeans AND bustin’ a sag at the same time! Yeah, I live in Podunk so but they rockin’ it! lol


  9. I went to see the band Rush with my ex boyfriend, and they were absolutely wearing skinny jeans and it was a muffin top delight up there. At first I felt confused and frightened, and then I died laughing.

    Thank you for this post, you are very funny.

    – Lauren

  10. I guess I will take the skinny jeans back I got for my son for Christmas while watching the jonas brothers and trying to figure the sum total of the average male checking out women’s behinnies……you totally crushed my mojo.

  11. With all the sagging, skinny jeans “crack a smile” has many meanings. Your post is hilarious. Thanks for sharing. Be careful of the staring or some dude will want to know “Whut your lookin’ at”.

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