I am taking crazy notes on Herman Cain now. Bruh is killing it, he too is winning so hard now. Not that I expect him to be the next president but dude is showing me how to win! Who would ever think that the Republican voters would even have a Black man poll this high (yes poll… actually going to ballot next November and actually casting a real vote is a lot different from being stopped on the street by some intern for Gallop with clip board and saying “Herman Cain” are two different things). First dude wrote a book and now is using campaign funds to buy copies of his book and hand them out or sell them again (kind of like when Lil Wayne has Cash Money buy a half million copies of his CD week one to make sure he charts #1). The real genius behind this move is he has a check cut to his publisher, check made possible with thousands of people donating money because they might believe in him. In return the publisher cuts him a check based on the sales of his book. AWESOME!
Next, he is a Black man going into conservative rallies, walks in wearing a suit and a full brim hat and no Republican makes the joke “well he’s got the tight suit and big hat, where are his hoes at?” Okay… they are saying it, just hasn’t been caught on a digital recorder yet. Or when someone made the joke, Herman heard it pointed at them and said “good one!”
I do not want to go into a lot about his possible sex scandals, but the last time I saw this many white women accuse a Black man of forcing himself on her the 2002-2003 Lakers had just left town. Emmit Till was lynched for giving a white woman a compliment, Herman Cain gets accused of trying to force his ‘johnson’ into the mouth of a few white women and Republicans in 2011 go and find all the reasons why we should not believe them! I thought having a Black man as President of the United States was the biggest sign of progress in race relations. Little did I know ol’ Herman has been bending entry-level white girls over his desk for 15 years and when they complain about it he lets ‘Legal’ handle it then cut ’em a check for 18 months salary.
Herman I thank you for showing me this country has changed. President, you will never be, but it does my heart good that not only can a Black man work his way up the corporate ladder, not only can he hire women based on how stiff his cock gets during her job interview, but he can get people to treat the woman like the guilty party. Oh this has to be the day Martin Luther King was dreaming about!
Enjoy your time bruh, it won’t last longer. Hold on until the Republican convention so they have to slot your speech during prime-time, I will set my DVR because that will be the last time I hear “9-9-9” and see that “what the f*ck is that smell” look you keep on your face. Hold on a little longer, you have made FOX News fun on a Friday night with the boys, we have to do a shot of Courvoisier every time you deny allegations. Enjoy your time, because I saw a picture of your wife. Beautiful Black sista, Spellman grad, not sure about her politics but I can make assumptions based on her lack of support for your campaign… Enjoy your time on the road because like any woman who has been embarrassed by her man in front of friends, family, and this case the entire country once you get home for good next year… nigga you in trouble. After she contacts her “Legal” department it will be the first time a woman fucks you!