Be A Black Republican… Hmmm

“I want to thank you, Mr. Speaker, for putting Mr. Juan Williams in his place.”

-Some random person to Newt

The Newtster decided he would push out his belief that Black kids do not have a work ethic.  Republicans ate it up.  He then decides he would say that Blacks should not accept food stamps but ask for pay checks.  Man is this a freaking buffet?  EAT IT UP Grand Old Party!!  They are, it has been pretty well-known that you do not make comments about people from other races, specifically White to Black, about being ‘put in your place’.  Man this feels good, this is the America I know and love, White people saying things with a Southern twang that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and make me check the front of my house for burning crosses in the lawn.

“I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.”

-Rick Santorum

Damn Opie, you cooked something too?  This is the greatest Pot-Luck ever!!!  Even though you claim you did not say ‘Black’, there a few words I know when I hear a White person say them, one is ‘Black’ the other two begin with the letter ‘N’ and one of them is ‘NO’.

Oh you thought this country was past racism, you thought President Obama was the end of it?  This is just the beginning.  Embrace it, love it, these are the good ol’ days again.  This is what this country is built on, hate.  Sad thing is the Republicans were the party of choice for Blacks, and not too long ago.

Events can be targeted that can explain why the African-American community started off as Republicans, gradually, then sharply went to become Democrats.

First, Republican President Abraham Lincoln ‘freed’ the slaves.  No United States President has done more to get the Black vote than this and this is hard to top.  Bill Clinton put on some shades  and played sax on Arsenio, but that can’t come close to what Lincoln accomplished.  Even if it was a calculated move to get more troops for the North, former slaves couldn’t sign up to fight fast enough.  “What we’re free, Abraham Lincoln freed us?  I am about to go sign up and join his army… right after I slap master’s wife on her fat ass and wink at her.”

Second, Democratic President Franklin D. Roosevelt put people to work regardless of color.  Even though we were put out of work as soon as the troops got back home (Last Hired/First Fired… read about it if you went to public schools and your History text books were old and only went to 1938), it was nice to be able to afford both bread and salami.  Mrs. Roosevelt put some social programs in place that allowed Black people to get involved in issues and voice our opinion.  Thanks to the bread and salami money, we were able to bring a sandwich with us for lunch on those all day events hosted by the first lady.

Third, Democratic President Harry S. Truman said Black people should be able to fight in Europe, then along=side Whites in Korea.  Okay, this one is similar to Lincoln, getting stretched too thin and then North Korea decides they want to slap the USA around a bit… we never turn down the opportunity to serve our country.  Thanks President Lincoln and President Truman for giving us the opportunity to show we can die just like a White soldier.

Finally, and this is the sharp turn…  Presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson put their support behind the Civil Rights movement.  Though, John F. Kennedy was a little slow in making moves, there have been rumors that he was attracted to Coretta Scott-King and thought finally having a sit down with this Rev. King fella might not be such a bad idea, if it means getting to meet the wife.  Real talk, brothers could understand this, because we were looking at Jackie Kennedy and saying “I’d hit that”!  Lyndon Johnson got so sick and tired of his fellow Southern Democrats questioning his loyalty, actions, and threatening not to support him for re-election he signed the Voting Rights Act as a huge middle finger to them, after that the Democrats could do no wrong to Black people.

Unfortunately, this caused a political problem for Black people.  We have voted for Democrats in one huge 90% plus ‘block’ that they could depend on without much effort.  The Left could sell us out on legislation with a smirk that screamed ‘what you gonna do, vote for them’?  Chuck D warned us on Can’t Truss It:

“Beware of the hand/When it’s coming from the LEFT”

Why should Republicans listen to the Black community, we are not going to vote for them and there seems to be more votes in not supporting us than in working with us.  Can’t really fault them for this, can you?  The best thing you could say about Republicans is they at least showed enough respect to us to limit their outright racism to one remark a week.  Forget that, there are votes in back-handed comments towards Black people.  The beauty of this new attack against the Black community is that they are framing it like they want to help us.

We have no work ethic!!!  Heard of slavery?  Nobody has worked that hard since Noah had to finish that boat before the rain started.

You want us to earn a check instead of getting food stamps!!!  We want you to hire us.

Crazy thing about the race issues the Republican Party has presented recently, I am 821 words into writing this and have not mentioned anything about Ron Paul until word 833.  Congressman Paul’s are outlandish, very outlandish… Unlike many people, I do not think Ron Paul is a secret Klan member.  I think he may actually still own slaves.  How else can he still have the ‘rebellious negro’ image in his head unless he has to constantly deal with run-aways, uprisings, and the occasional “Mandingo/daughter” incidents.

The door was so wide-open for comments like these to be made about Black people, the Republicans had to speak to Wal-Mart about how they handle the Black Friday midnight rush so not too people got trampled in the run on their ‘Roll-back’ sale on racism.  Who is to blame for this?  Black people… hush, hush DAMMIT!!!!  Yes I said it, Black people are to blame for this.  As a community we got so outraged in President Obama’s first year in office every time someone said something negative about him we accused them of racism and by March of 2010 we were exhausted.

Case and point, by the time Rep. Doug Lamborn used “tar baby” in reference to PRESIDENT Obama last July; Black people didn’t have enough energy, as a collective, to even see if Al Sharpton made an appointment with his hair dresser to touch up his perm for the press conference denouncing the congressman’s statement.  Republicans sat and waited for their beating, knew it was justified, and were going to take all they had coming.  Take it like a porn star they would. Nothing.  Not even a letter from Jesse Jackson requesting a paid position on a Board of Directors or face his on-call protesters every day until the next election.  I could see every red-blooded Republican rubbing their hands… “Iron my robe, we back”!  Forgive me for generalizing the entire Republican Party, but you opened the door for me.

What can the African-American community do to fight this?  Join them, no not in name calling; we did that after the first episode of The Jefferson’s aired on CBS in the 1970’s.  Actually join the Republican Party, yes I am saying become card-carrying members of the Republican Party.  If you live in a state where you have to declare a party affiliation, switch to the Republicans.  Stop cussing at your computer screen… I’m serious and I have a point.

When Republicans know that we can swing the vote in a candidates favor, they will make it a point to respect our community.  Of course we are not voting for the most electable Republican, depending on how pissed off they make us, we are turning the tide in favor of the most flawed and fucked up Republican you got.  This year… HELLO RON PAUL!!!  Republicans don’t piss us off, maybe we don’t show up to vote (honestly we are pretty good at that), piss us off and Michelle Bachman is still polling high enough to keep running.

We can vote for whomever we want to in the General Election and honestly, the Republicans are correct we blindly vote for whatever late 40/early 50-year-old the donkeys roll out.  It does not matter who, we forgive their shortcomings.  We forgave Obama for going to an elitist church in Chicago and putting together an exploratory committee to see if he had a chance to be elected President, before he was sworn-in to serve the people of the State of Illinois that elected him and placed him on the national stage in the US Senate.  We forgave Bill Clinton for attacking the hip-hop generation for expressing their concerns with the treatment they received from law enforcement and general lack of concern from the government.  Not to mention the early rumors of him cheating on Hillary.  We even forgave him from going out for jogs with the media tagging along wearing shorts hugging his nuts so tight that Larry Bird and the rest of the ’83 Boston Celtics thought were obscene.

History forgave Abraham Lincoln for saying “If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union”.  Lincoln later expressed an opposition to slavery, but admitted he did, in fact, free slaves to save the Union.  One of the reasons why Black people can vote today, why eventually we could own land, be accepted to universities and colleges across the South, and I could one day write this is because it was a political move in the best interest of one side of a debate on race that allowed it to happen.  In the best interest of today’s debate about race, a strategic political move would be raiding the Republican Party Primaries and forcing their candidates to respect us by respecting our ability to vote, maybe not for them but against them.  There is power in having the ability to fire people, ask Mitt.

I feel like a Black Republican, money I got comin’ in
Can’t turn my back on the hood, I got love for them
Can’t clean my act up for good, too much thug in ’em
Probably end up back of the hood, I’m like “Fuck it then”

Nas featuring Jay-Z- “BLACK REPUBLICAN”


12 thoughts on “Be A Black Republican… Hmmm

  1. Rob, i take my stingy brim off to you. you are a great fucking writer, a poet, and a great and wise voice on behalf of your people – and all decent people everywhere…you make a valid point, and i don’t think it’s a joke either, that people of good will might could deal with the “republican problem” by carrying their card…tho’ it’s prolly asking a lot of people of good will. and i’m glad you finally got to Lincoln’s reasons for dealing with that annoying issue of slavery. the republican party represents a vile racist bunch of crackers, and their virulent racism is aimed squarely at African Americans, and, of course this president. these bastards are threatening everyone. they are a problem for all people of good will. they represent the organized well-funded oligarchy against all wage earners, all the middle-class, and working poor of this nation, and if they could they’d probably ship the homeless off to an island where they didn’t have to see them. this party has to be taken down. a terrific diatribe written by a man who is both street smart, and politically astute…a mighty combo. to this day i can’t understand how there exists such a thing as a “black republican.” i wonder what they’d make of their ranks being swelled by hundreds of thousands of peoples of the “underclass” that they have no use for. it might make their heads explode. well done man. continue…

  2. Love your post! I am white and it is horribly embarrassing to even think that these morons might be viewed as representing the “white view”. I know that racism is still an serious issue but “DAMN” These latest comments are so seeped in stupidity that it is almost impossible to find words to respond other than sputtering “omg…did he just say what I think he said?”

    At least I can distance myself (even if only for my own mental health) by pointing out that I am proudly not a republican.

    Sadly, It has de-evolved into not being about picking a good republican (snort) it is simply picking the one with the best chance of not totally embarrassing the party when he goes up against President Obama (gee guys…a wee bit too late for that don’t you think?”)

    On behalf of whitey, I apologize for the moronic comments we have all had to hear from delusional color-deficient individuals. Please try to remember they are the opinions of an individual not necessary the majority.

  3. Really good writing, and really good thinking. You’re on top of it as far as I’m concerned.
    Conservatives say and do crazy,blatent racist things, then scream bloody murder when somebody points it out.
    Personally, the voter fraud bullshit, the work ethic thing coupled with what would be forced labor for poor kids, just makes me sick inside. Mostly because I see a substantial republican base that buys it. And that’s not good for black people, white people, hispanics, — any human being. They’d like around a century , maybe a century and a half back so their standards could be met.
    I’m counting on them getting so crazy that they’ll self-destruct in the near future. So, I’m putting my hope in there still being more good people out there than bad. We’ll see.

  4. I will admit I am fairly uninformed about American politics way over here in Northern Europe, but even *I* know that anything that comes out of the mouth of a Santorum or a Gingrich is pure bile. I say infiltrate the Republicans, and perhaps like the Irish, overcome the enemy by populating them from within (when the Irish first emigrated to America and the UK they suffered terrible predjudice but after a century or so they bred out the haters!!!)

  5. Good article, I think we do need to think and vote instead if blind allegiance. Bait racism is growing and we need to be ready…

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