Hot Sauce… Franks, Red Dot, or Louisiana we got a bottle of you at all times. The only thing you can put on a Black person’s food before tasting it that will not offend them is hot sauce. Not tabasco sauce, that’s just flavorless heat. Besides salt there is nothing more we use too much of.
We put hot sauce on everything, stews, roast, popcorn, potato chips. We put it on our kids hands to get them to stuck sucking their fingers. Which is a horrible idea, the hot sauce taste so good once the kids gets a taste of the good stuff they are waking you up with their hands reached out to you mumbling ‘more sauce’. We bathe chitlin’s in hot sauce and drench chicken it, and at least once in our lives we put it over some plain noodles just to see if it would work out.
We all imagine Oprah Winfrey is an extremely classy individual, would never cause a scene in public. Invite her to a chicken dinner and not have a bottle of Red Dot nearby, I bet you that table flips over! Look in any NBA locker room, you will find 2 things in common (other than tall guys that will be filing for bankruptcy within 4 years of their retiring from the league) bottles of Gatorade and bottles of hot sauce. All them brothers in one spot at the same time, the team manager better keep the 16 ounce bottles on stock.
Along with bottles of hot sauce in the kitchen, in the cabinets, and on the tables of every Black person’s home, you will find hot sauce stained plastic-ware too. Dinner last night was so good we need to take it to work with us, before we put the top over it we go ahead and put the right amount of hot sauce (the right amount of hot sauce is best described as ‘swimming in hot sauce’). At lunch time… who am I kidding we don’t eat our food at lunch time, we eat it before lunch at our desk and we spend our actual lunch ‘making a couple of runs’. Once we do heat that food up, the microwave causes the hot sauce to boil and eventually baptize our dishes.
Black History Month is to honor those we love, and hot sauce qualifies as something we love. Potato chip makers have given in and given us ‘hot sauced flavored’ chips, not spicy chips or the regular ‘hot stuff’ chips but real ‘hot sauced flavored’ chips… only found at corner stores in Black communities. Very smart, we are gonna put hot sauce on your plain ass chips anyway. We might get a baby sitter and leave the kids at home, but we’ll take hot sauce with us to the restaurant… just to be on the safe side and with no shame ask your girl to reach into her purse to pull it out for you. We love you hot sauce, like a play cousin!!!