Gub’ment Cheese, admit it you loved it! The good stuff… you were never sure if it was good because it was actually good or because it was free. Free is always good! Personally I think it was so good because I was hungry and if I got to the point where I broke down and made a grilled gub’ment cheese sandwich… there was nothing else to eat in the house. Admittedly, it only took that one sandwich for me to be hooked on those cheesy jokers for me to keep eating them for weeks to come, even when mom did stock the fridge.
This was not like food stamps or being seen shopping at K-Mart for shoes or at Aldi for everything. All your friends admitted to having gub’ment cheese in the crib. You could tell when your mom missed a free cheese handout, when everyone talked about having macaroni and cheese at dinner that was not a coincidence… the government handed out cheese and your mom didn’t stand her ass in line to get y’all some. Your mom also didn’t break your aunt off $10 dollars to buy 2 boxes of her free cheese. Every time you walk out the house you see girls playing double-dutch and the girl jumping is doing it while eating half of a grilled gub’ment cheese sandwich. Dudes are calling next at the courts, because sitting on the side and waiting for the winners will give them enough time to eat their free cheese sandwich before they play ball.
You didn’t have to ask for cheese on your sandwich or burger during free cheese hand outs, you just asked for the sandwich and an irregular cut slice of cheese was slapped on that thing for you. There was no way to make perfect slices of gub’ment cheese, if you did slice one that looked like it was made by Kraft the next one would look like you had the palsies. That was part of the joy, seeing what shapes you would cut out with the cheese. Would it look like a triangle, the front of a capital B, or Pacific coast?
There was also free butter, but back then butter was so cheap the government could give you as much free butter as you could buy for a dollar out of the corner store. If there was a free butter program today the line would resemble the line outside of an arena at a free General Admission Jay-Z/Kanye West concert with a special appearance by a resurrected Michael Jackson.
Oh how we miss you gub’ment cheese, you live on in stories like this one and pictures of poor little ghetto children in the 80’s and 90’s. We reminisce over you like a song by Pete Rock and CL Smooth. You were almost proud to be seen carrying 5 of those grey boxes into the house, you are actually a little upset that Velveeta’s packaging looks too much like the GOOD cheese. Again, admit it you loved it! Happy Black History Month to you gub’ment cheese, a tear rolls down my cheek when I bite into the sub par grilled cheese sandwiches of today.