Happy Black History Month!!! Today We Salute… Jeremy Lin (yes he is everywhere)

We are gonna get it lin today!  Not ‘in’, Lin… as in Jeremy Lin.  Yes Jeremy Lin is everywhere; he has even invaded Black History Month celebrations.  Sure he has obviously spent a lot of time with brothas, next time you see him being interviewed, close your eyes for a few seconds… sounds like he is from your local projects.  One chick thinks he is Black:

4.2 GPA coming out of high school raised in Palo Alto, California, Harvard educated… Asian!  This dude sounds more like your next boss, not like the franchise altering point guard the Knicks have been looking for since Earl “the Pearl” Monroe’s knees gave him the finger way back in 1980.

We celebrate Jeremy Lin because he did what rap music couldn’t do, he did what Wesley Snipes’ action films could not do, Kobe tried his best to do… he is making Asian kids put random B.S. in front of their education.  We miscalculated; we got our Latino brother’s and Latina sisters rolling real hard with us in the hood.  If you are from an island living in Florida or New York City, you live near us and face the same issues we do.  Thanks to N.W.A. we were able to get White kids to start calling each other nigga and that was before Eminem.  We could not figure out how to get Asian kids to start lowering their standards.  We sent Michael Jackson over there to get them to lower their standards, they put on the ‘zipper’ jacket and the one glove learned how to moon walk but that was as far as they were willing to go.

We thought hip-hop had a chance, when we realized there was a fondness of early 90’s rap music we sent A Tribe Called Quest over on so many tours that they ended up picking up on styles of Asian cultures.  Not what we wanted, that was supposed to work in the other direction.  We even stepped up our hip-hop attack on Asia, let’s go harder!  We sent 50 Cent over on a media blitz that had not been seen since the Clinton administration tried to do ‘damage control’ after an unwashed blue dress was shown to a reporter.  Fiddy, as Jeremy Lin likes to call him, became a promotional darling in Asian countries making so much cash over there he may have paid more in taxes to Japan and China from 2004-2007 than he did to the US.  Damn they are slick!  We sent our secret weapon over there and he ended up working for them.

All of sudden Kobe Bryant began to appear as a cultural phenomenon and we were realized “basketball is our way in, we missed our chance with Jordan let’s seize the Kobe moment”!  We were even caught by surprise with Kobe, yeah he was known we had no idea that China was crazy about Kobe Bean.  Chinese citizens flooded USA Basketball games chanting “KOBE, KOBE, KOBE”… yes this is our chance no Black man has gotten this much love from another race since pre-murder OJ and Kobe had possibly raped a White woman (allegedly… allegedly!  I want to make that point clear, after his wife ran off with half his cash and all his houses; he may be in suing mood.  IDIOT ALWAYS MAKE HER SIGN THE PRENUPTUAL, I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER!!!).  We were half right, right sport… wrong guy.

I hear what you are saying, yes there was Yao Ming but his work was to influence us.  His check went directly to the Chinese government, and then to him, he knew where his bread was buttered.  He made the Olympics in China possible he was worth hundreds of millions to the Republic of China.  We still did not see how to find our way into Asian cultures.  We tried, Beyonce didn’t work, Obama damn sure ain’t work for us over there… Michael Jackson died before we could roll him out there again for another try.

Then on February 4, 2012, at the beginning of Black History Month ironically, are secret weapon revealed himself to us.  Dropping 25 points and 7 dimes on the Nets, he then went out and ran through a few more teams until he finally hung 38 points on Kobe Bean proving he was the ‘chosen one’ and fittingly killing Kobe’s hopes of Asian dominance.  We had the guy we needed to make Asian people everywhere put down the books and pick up something that will surround them with some ignorance finally.

Jeremy Lin has made hanging out with brotha’s look cool.  Jeremy Lin hit the winning 3-pointer against the Toronto Raptors and the Knicks bench exploded.  The last time you saw that many brotha’s celebrating with an Asian kid was win Jin was killing it on 106 and Park and announced he signed with the Ruff Ryders (you thought I was gonna say something about a math competition, didn’t you?  You racist bastard!).  Now Asian kids are embracing their blackness and things brotha’s do.  Think I am making this up?  I work at a Museum in Chicago, today every Asian kid I saw in the place had on a basketball jersey, any basketball jersey… that would have been enough but they all gave me that ‘whassup’ head nod too!  It’s on!  Of course this is not about the entire Asian community, just the women.

Once all Asians see blackness as cool, Asian women may start dating a brotha, then another brotha.  Seriously, the only known Asian women to marry a Black man are the one’s ready to get of Korea in the 50’s and Dave Chappelle’s wife.  THANK YOU JEREMY LIN!!!!  You have achieved something no Black man has ever been able to do and I am not just talking about effectively run Mike D’Antoni’s offense (outside of you, only Steve Nash has been able to pull off the pick & roll properly for him).  Happy Black History Month to you and US!!!!